A Confusing Conundrum of Life Saving Importance

This is a public service announcement brought to you by the "I couldn't care less" foundation.  Under no circumstances are you to panic. Just sit back and remain calm and unemotional until after the announcement. Please save any and all questions until after the broadcast,
Thank you.

Hello, people! Do you know what time of year it is? Yes, it is nearly time for Thanksgiving, turkey, families and all that jazz, but I'm talking about something important.

The Sexiest Man Alive competition.

No, I am not going to show any pictures so don't panic!! Thank you, I knew you were a bit worried there. But don't worry, under no circumstances would I be persuaded to show a picture of Doctor McDreamy or whatever the heck his name is on my blog.

But I do have a little problem with this competition. It's not that I object to who they chose, (It's the guy from 27 Dresses, isn't it? What's his name?)

But it says "Sexiest Man Alive"
Um.. is it just me, or am I the only one who sees the problem here?

ALIVE.

..no, this is not a rant about how my vote would be for fictional characters
But what happens to all the other guys that were voted the hottest? Wouldn't you technically have to kill the previous sexiest man alive to be the new one? Because as far as I know, George Clooney, Johnny Depp and all the other celebrities are still alive and would still technically hold the title unless they were dead.

Do you get it? Does it bother you?  It bothers me.

A lot.

So this Thanksgiving, I want you to be grateful that we have not had  a Hollywood massacre. And to show this thanks,  the next time you go to the store and are in the check out lane and see the cover of the magazine, I want you to scream, "Thank goodness he is still alive!!"

It will help me and the magazine editors feel better.